Growing Clients

Have you lately experienced the invigorating jolt of a new insight? Five great articles came to my attention during the past few months and their content for me suddenly gelled into one cohesive interlinked whole.

Some of my clients whom I coached experienced – each at their own pace – a similar realisation. Something clicked. The light went on. Eyes showed sparkling recognition. An insight had occurred.

What were the main ideas of this interlinked whole?  

1. One cannot switch on the light in someone else

You can only use a process in the hope that your discussion partner switches on the light.

One cannot give advice or sketch what would obviously be beneficial for the other person, and hope they will agree. Take it as a given, what is a reality and a truth for you and works for you, is not a reality to any other living person. We all see situations through unique lenses and mindsets which were created over a lifetime. No one can see what you see. Nor can you see what they see.

Do not try to persuade people to do what’s good for them.  Helping people to achieve self-actualisation does not work. Brains are pattern-making organs with an innate desire to create their own novel solutions. You only get a rush of excitement if the insight is your own. We only become exited by someone else’s brilliant ideas if we can give it our own original (even more brilliant) twist. So do not try to convince others of a particular solution or answer. Use authentic enquiry and delve into their situations or problems with them and hope they will get a brilliant flash of insight – theirs, not yours.  (This is difficult to grasp, I can confirm. I have so many ideas that no one adopts although it will be so good for them.)

Do not dwell on the past. Do not get stuck. It’s wasted energy. Focus people on future solutions instead of on past problems, let them come to their own answers, and keep them focused on their insights. Provide feedback and support to take their ideas and solutions further.

2. Do not overload people with new ideas

Brains can only deal with a limited amount of new information during a discussion or presentation. If you want to introduce new direction or policy get to the point and group your points in a few clusters. Even if you have thought matters through for days and are bursting with great ideas take note your audience can barely remember 10%.  Slow down, present and work in small slices.

Make ideas crystal clear and simple. Simplicity trumps complexity.

Inject emotions into your ideas and delivery. Brilliantly bland ideas are not exiting.  And do not deliver them as a given. Ask, what do you think?  Involve others and allow them to take over your ideas as their own. Accept it as a compliment, if this happens.

3. Practice, practice, deliberate practice

Many of us admire professional athletes of various sports disciplines. We intuitively know that it took years of committed hard training before they reached their peak and impressed us.

When we initiate change or a new direction we expect our staff to perform professionally within a week or two. Why do they not get it? We explained it so nicely, even twice.

How long does it take any professional to become professional?  On average, five hours a day over eight years or 10 000 hours. How many years did it take you before you really got to be an expert at what you are doing?

And professional athletes have professional coaches. Should we as leaders and managers not be professional coaches?  How much time do we spend each week in coaching individual team members?

How quickly do managers learn new concepts? Have you read a business article, marvelled at its useful ideas and the next day could scarcely discuss its main concepts with a colleague? You had to read it again, make notes and could then discuss a few elements. You tried to coach your team and had to return to the original source and study some more.  There is nothing wrong with you. Your brain simply had to be programmed with repeated study and practice.

Why should a staff member be any different?

4. The solution and your behaviour

Do we not all tend to focus mostly on the logical side of problem-solving and on our ability to come up with immediate clever solutions, while seldom being aware of our behaviour? Admit it, we all can recall situations which we addressed with the right knowledge and intentions but blew it, as our behaviour did not bring out the best in those around us. Do you have a proven ability to create a ‘”Best Day” virtually every day for your team as opposed to “Worst Days”? How often do you display toxic behaviour?

Learn to analyse your best and worst behaviours. At the end of each day (for 20 work days), identify one problem which you solved and then analyse how you handled it. Examine your behaviour. Do a little 10-minute exercise each day. Being more supportive and nurturing can just be what’s needed for your future success and that of your company. Don’t doom a plan by executing it with a blunt toxic axe.

5. How well do you handle crucial conversations?

Every conversation that a manager holds with a staff member is a crucial conversation.  Examples would be a Monday-morning meeting or a one-on-one meeting in your office. How do you handle such conversations? Do you create a safe environment by putting your staff member at ease, do you stick to the facts, avoid using negative judgmental words or phrases, and do you see others as decent, valued co-workers?

Read and reread
What do you do or fail to do? I do hope that you will be motivated to turn to these five posts again. Their ideas are all part of a manager’s toolbox. All were based on extensive research by respected authors.

I got a light-bulb moment when I realised how these ideas all fitted together and how usable this package is.

What will a reread do to you?

Albert
PS. Join the conversation and leave a comment.

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